Being alone because you mean to.

Do something because you mean to. 

One of my favourite yoga teachers always say it. It's usually right after we did a balancing pose and she says "now return your foot to the ground because you mean to" and not because you lost your balance and you had to put your feet in the ground so you wouldn't fall. 

As a child, and later a woman, with too much imagination, it always struck me as a puzzle when people say that one, they can't do things alone, and two, they are bored. In 20 plus years of life, I can honestly say I've never been bored in my life. Seriously. As a child I had an extremely active imagination and I created games and stories with the toys I had, and when I didn't have any, I used to make my own, with whatever material I had available. I remember going to my grandparents house on the weekend where I had no toys. My favourite thing to do, was to grab a book (I was called library mouse at school) or kids cartoon magazines and I would climb my grandma's Mango tree and stay there until I was asked to come down. Or I'd climb the Jabuticabeira (a tree which grows deliciously sweet fruit from Brazil), hop on the roof and pretend I was exploring... something. I would also draw little people, cut them up and create stories that involved even extended families. 

I've always had so much imagination, that growing up I used to choose to stay home on purpose so I could develop the stories in my head. Active imagination requires solitude to develop and I was more than happy to let it be. 

In a nutshell, I was never bored, and I never had any problems being alone. I enjoy going to the movies alone, I much rather prefer going shopping (which I don't like at all) alone, and I love long walks, with or without music, and I've always loved reading a good book. All activities that are solitary in nature. Can you do all these with company? Yes. The fact is, some people cannot even go to grocery store is what scares me. If you can't be alone with yourself, what makes you think you'll be well around others? I mean, you should always be your best friend. I remember being at work and people were either on their phones, talking to someone or reading something, otherwise they would say they are bored. Bored. I have no idea what it feels to be bored. If only, I could use some moments when I do feel bored but they are non-existant in my life. 

When I moved to North America, I went from being contemplative and slow paced, to being always on the go and with work, school and volunteer commitments, I had little time to just be. Just be with myself, either doing something I enjoy or doing nothing at all. That was until last year. It makes such a big difference having free time to do nothing at all. School is over, my work schedule is a normal Monday to Friday and now I limit my volunteer commitments to one, and only once a week. Instead of FOMO ~ fear of missing out, I'm going into BFMO ~ bliss for missing out.  

I'm slowly learning to avoid doing things that insult my soul.

That is all to say that I had the most peaceful day alone. I only left the house to go to yoga in the morning (with my favourite teacher mentioned above), then had lunch and read a little near the studio. Came home and talked to my parents but the majority of the day was silent, reading or writing. Cleaning the house, listening to music... Such a peaceful and blessed day. A day many would find boring and crazy because I chose not to see anyone, but I needed sometime for myself. Time to think, to medidate and to do nothing at all. I am, after all, my best friend and I love my own company. 

Hope we all find time to be with ourselves, and just be with ourselves, without the need to distract ourselves with TV (which I happily don't own one), among other distractions. 

Namasté ॐ